i've been blogging on tumblr more recently! www.emmafail.tumblr.com :)

again, i feel like i need another good old party. im craving them a lot now-a-days.

no sense of urgency. i'm lacking in everything i need. school work is getting on top of me, but i'm not doing anything about it. someone give me that first shove? maybe a second and third too...

seriously, shut the fuck up. you contradict yourself in everything you say, so don't make out your something you not.

Well, it's been a while since i've blogged, but i can rest now knowing coursework is out of the way :) Things are good right now, and i am feeling stronger. Lets hope this feeling lasts!

oh jesus christ. grow the fuck up. are you done with it all now? i really can't be bothered with you. start on me, i dare you. i'm not backing down to you now, now ive seen what your really like.

i'm so indecisive right now. i'm missing something, but i don't know what.

stressed out man. times moving too fast. i don't want to be in sixth form, doing my A levels. I dont want to be thinking about uni yet, and having to make that one important decision on what i want to be. I dont want to move out, and have to try and make it on my own. I dont want to get a job, and work to keep myself alive. Take me back to year five, please?

i don't want to play your games anymore. your mind tricks are driving me insane. i don't know what your goal is, but i don't want to stick around to find out. your more confusing than ever right now. i'm raising my white flag.

Ever have it where happiness bugs you? There are those moments where you feel so irritated with, just life in general, you tend to want people to be annoyed with you. It gets to the point when anyone that's not, and has this smile on their faces, just pisses you off even more. Sixth form has turned me into a monster.

open your minds, you'll be surprised.

truth is, the future scares the hell out of me. people always tell me that i need to pick what i want to do in life, get it sorted. However, thats so hard to do when you don't know what life is going to turn out like. Machines could be running the aspect that i'm interested in. i wont be needed. then what? when everything turns electrical, what do you do? life will be bankrupt before you know it.

"screw this, i didn't sign up for this shit."

"sometimes you realise you've taken things as far as they will go."

i don't understand. i'm wearing down.

congratulations. you win.

oh okay. thats cool. what the hell is going on?!

all this new terminology, pouring into my head, word after word, phrase after phrase. trying to take it all in. every lesson, more and more. expanding. growing. memorising is the hardest. word after word ... pop.

no matter how hard i try, i always manage to piss someone off. maybe i'll just stop trying.

you managed to fucking destory that good mood didn't you?

in a swell mood today. :) things seem to be getting better. i'm doing well, and think i can achieve in what i wish.
...lets just see if this changes after my exams.

some more random shit i wrote.

Hello to the friend that betrayed your trust,
Bonjour to the guy that led astray your lust,
This sentence proves that the worlds unjust.

Morbid faces, the more it seems,
No more glowing faces, so goodbye to the beams,
Just that faint echo, which sounds like some scream.

Everybody can see that the edges have worn,
Simple to the eye that our friendship has torn,
Just waiting for this to happen, since the day we were, born.

No one can ever seem to recognize,
All the, destruction, in our eyes,
So well hid, so hard to find. So hard to find.

blah. fucking chill out. everyone is entitled to have their own opinion. Your involved in that too, but your expressing it in all the wrong ways. Just let people be how they want to be. You have no right to slate them. Your not perfect either, but you don't see people going on at you. Or at least, if something is bugging you, say it to their face, instead of writing petty insults that are not directly aimed. The irony in this isn't so big, because carry on the way your acting, and I'll speak up.

I've had enough of being ill. it actually drains me so much. people just say to me "oh your always ill", and then leave it as if its no big deal. but to me it is. being ill is the worst thing ever to me. it emotionally and physically drains me. i just want to live in my bed forever.
I've ran out of topics to blog about at the moment. hence the blog about a cold.

i have a good feeling about this year. i do, i do, i do. just keep saying it; it'll come true.

i never keep to any of my new year resolutions, but I'm determined to keep with this one. must keep up. must keep up. must keep up. i need to keep up with everything. All the sites I'm registered with. People. School work. Revision. School in itself. Sure, its a load, but it's doable. I need to find a way, and i will.